


Everything Was Made To Be Broken

by Violette_Pleasures



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cheating, Divorce, Husbands, M/M, Marriage, Rough Sex, fiances, its not what you think, no happy ending, some spousal violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:12:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1429783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violette_Pleasures/pseuds/Violette_Pleasures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili have been married for almost 9 years in what he thought was wedded bliss. Sure he was busy, he's the heir to the Durin Trade Company, he needed to be strong and provide for his family and he thought everyone was happy...but now Kili is gone and won't speak to him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Was Made To Be Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Song to listen to while reading this fic:  
> Samson-Regina Spektor  
> A Thousand Years-Christinna Perri  
> Love the Way You Lie-Skylar Grey
> 
> Hey everyone~  
> So yeah, this is a horrible sad story that I wrote in hopes of ripping your heart out...sorry ^_^' I wrote this at a time when I was getting overwhelmed with all the fluff and happy endings that usually happen in these kind of stories. 
> 
> This piece ended up being a healing process for me because as I was writing it, certain aspects of the story became true to my life and getting it out on paper helped me. It took forever and lots of tears to write because of those reasons, but I'm the better for it. Sorry to ramble!
> 
> Thank you so much to Bluebutterflywrites on tumblr for chatting this plot and idea out with me. And thank you for proofreading it as well! You're amazing~
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and don't hate me in the end. All comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.

Fili sat alone at the large, mahogany dining table, covered in a Ralph Lauren tablecloth with an antique Italian glass bowl filled with overripened fruit, waiting for the beep of the Keurig coffee maker. Dawn was just rising over the mountains, casting light onto the dust moats floating through the stale air, swirling up before inevitably coming to land on another piece of designer furniture. Tired blue eyes stared out the panoramic windows of the penthouse high-rise into the grey-lavender hues of the sky.

Often mornings like these were spent in company, the heavenly smells of whatever was for breakfast wafted through the air, small feet would come running to him and the whole room was filled with golden light and laughter. A memory of long brown hair tied back, a gentle smile and fingers still covered in acrylic paint dicing tomatoes at the counter made him smile. The alarming beep of the coffee maker made Fili rise slowly, pushing in his chair before he left, and go to the kitchen to rummage about for a clean cup.

The smell of the coffee lacked its usual briskness and was instead acrid and pungent, but none the less was poured and topped off with cream and sugar. A little heavy handed, the blonde noted, before taking a sip. The taste was nearly as bad as the smell, he would never figure out how to make a proper pot of coffee. He hadn't had to in such a long time.

Every morning, except Sunday, the businessman's alarm would sound and he would sleepily swipe his thumb across the lock screen, throw back the covers and sit on the edge if the bed. After stretching tired muscles and stressed tendons, he would pad down to the kitchen in his boxers. A warm hug and a loving embrace, a quiet moment between two lovers, was shared while the coffee brewed. And it always smelled delicious and bright, Kili knew how to make the best coffee in the world. But, Kili didn't make him coffee anymore. He hadn't for a few months now...

~

A sea of green trees stretched on as far down the winding highway as Fili could see. He sat in his luxury cruiser, taking in the view, his fiancé's hand resting on his over the stick shift. He smiled at the weight of it. Like this, alone, and even in silence, he had always felt the most content, most complete with his lover by his side.

"Its a nice day, isn't it babe?" Kili smiled, breathtaking, while his free hand hung out the window, scooping the breeze and riding along it. "We should get out at the next rest area," he had squeezed Fili's hand, garnering his attention," and, you know, get a little exercise."

Fili watched the other man's eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, and a new kind of grin took form across his pouty lips. "What did you have in mind?" He licked his lips, already feeling his arousal and curiosity peaking.

The brunette bit at his lower lip. "Well, I was thinking, " Kili had removed his hand from Fili's and rested it on his knee, "that I have an unopened tube of KY in my bag and a mighty need to be fucked senseless in these beautiful woods." Long fingers had traveled up his leg and brushed against the lump of awakening flesh in his hiking shorts.

The blonde had growled low at the provocative caress. "The next rest area is a mile away..." Fili smirked. "..think you can wait that long?"

"I can try." The younger laughed softly. He had pulled his hand in from the window and had started palming himself through his tight jeans.

Fili had felt his pulse pound in his ears at the sight of his beloved pleasuring himself. "Well I can't." He had yanked heavily at the steering wheel, pulling onto the shoulder, the gravel crunched beneath his tires. "Get the lube. You're done for." He couldn't recall ever getting out of a car so quickly.

"Yes, sir." Kili had purred the words out as he had leaned into the back of the car, his shirt hem lifting to reveal a pale, toned abdomen, rummaging in the bags. He had tumbled out of the car, bouncing with excitement, shortly after Fili.

Fili grabbed Kili's hand and pulled him forcefully into the brush and trees. Spring in the Northwest was always beautiful. The low growing ferns had just started uncoiling from themselves, reaching for the sun that shown in slats through the thick foliage of the high growing pine and fir trees. The snow drops were blooming covering the forest floor with their wintery petals. Everything was dampened and glistening, smelling fresh and new from the heavy showers. He had pushed his lover into a pile of soft moss, still covered in dew drops, kissing him passionately.

They had fumbled desperately at each other's clothing, needing the closeness, the skin on skin contact. Buttons popped from their stitches, undershirts were torn and pants pried forcibly from slender, pale legs.

"Fili--! Mmm...need you!" The slender brunet had moaned within the space of their lips and breath. He flicked open the tube with an audible click and squeezed a glob onto his trembling fingers. "Here," Kili passed the lubricant to his lover.

Fili took the hint and slicked his own throbbing member, stroking himself a few times as he watched Kili run fingers over his own glistening entrance. The blonde had hissed as he watched his fiancé slowly fuck himself with his long fingers, stretching and preparing for the inevitable.

"Ready..."Kili spoke breathlessly. He had always been a bit of a free spirit and Fili always found his lover more aroused while in the open than in any soft, feathery bed he had provided for them. Kili smiled, pure seduction, "And don't hold back..."

~

The businessman picked up his cup and walked down towards the large bathroom, passing the master bedroom on his left. He paused, taking in the pristine condition of the aubergine, Vera Wang down comforter stretched across their king sized bed. He was attentive of the untouched plushness of the uninviting pillows and cushions arranged neatly along the headboard. Fili turned his eyes away from that hermetically sealed essence of his life before...The slate grey tiles were cold against his bare feet as they slapped over to the shower.

The spray was warm and inviting; he leaned into it, the hot water enveloping him, running in rivulets down his firm body, through thick, blonde body hair. Fili closed his eyes as his head went under, droplets thrumming in his ears and dripping from long lashes. He used to call him pretty. Tell him how irresistible his body, his eyes, his touch was to him. But Kili had stopped touching him.

~

"Fili..."A soft whisper in his ear called out to him. "Fili, love...its time to wake up."

"Five more minutes..." Fili smiled childishly, refusing to open his eyes, and rolled away from the skinny brunet trying to rouse him.

"Fili Durin, if you run me late for my own wedding, I will murder you!" Kili pushed at him rolling him onto his back.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Fili laughed deep in his belly. He enjoyed teasing his young lover and the fact that it was their wedding day didn't change anything.

Kili had straddled his fiancé's hips and huffed in indignation. He was beautiful. Naked as the day he rose up from the dampened earth and radiantly glowing in the early morning sun cascading through the open window of the cottage. His wispy, sable hairs catching and reflecting rays created a subtle halo around his glorious head.

“My angel…” The blonde stroked his beloved’s cheek with his knuckles.

“Butt,” Kili blushed profusely, an alluring shade of pink running from cheeks to chest. He leaned in, pressing alabaster skin flush to olive flesh, and kissed the older. It was a simple brushing of skin that spoke volumes. The brunet sat up with a smile to rival the sun in its intensity. “Come on, lets get ready.”

The slender artist rolled off his fiancé and sat about rummaging through their bags. He was very at ease with his nakedness and walked in a way that showed it. Kili had told him several times how much he hated clothing. Not that he was eager to go running down the streets nude, but as soon as he was home, clothing was deemed highly unnecessary. The way he was gliding about the room had made something primal stir within Fili.

The businessman had risen from the sheets and came up behind his lover, who had paused in his searching, to enjoy the summer breeze blowing in through the large garden window. The white cotton curtains tumbled and swirled about the couple, licking at bare arms and legs. Fili placed slow, gentle kisses to his other’s shoulders and neck, worshipping every inch of skin that fell beneath his lips.

“Mmm,” Kili hummed his appreciation. “As much as I love you kissing and holding me, we need to focus.”

“Mmhmm,” Fili muttered, still tasting the soft flesh.

“I mean it…”

“Mmhmm…”

“Mmhmm…”

A few hours later, Fili was standing in the middle of the forest at dusk, his closest friends and family gathered together on the wooden benches intermingled amongst the trees. Candles hung in jars and paper lanterns strung from the lower branches of the pine and fir boughs creating the aisle. A small wedding bower made of delicate chiffon draped between white birch branches and was filled with white candles on small tables.Just when the young blond thought he was going to have a nervous meltdown, the string quartet started up, signaling the arrival of “the bride.”

Kili emerged from the thick foliage of the forest floor, head bowed demurely with a gentle smile playing at his lips. He had foregone the beige vest, pants and white button down that Fili donned, opting instead to wear a sheer, white linen shirt and loose fitting linen pants. A delicate crown of tiny, white wild flowers graced the top of his silken, chocolate locks. He walked slowly down the aisle, naturally barefoot. And in that moment, Fili forgot how to breathe.

“Hey,” Kili said shyly, When the brunet spoke, only then had the rest of the world come into slight focus and he had remembered that others were watching them, waiting for the two to tie the knot.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Fili had smiled big and dopey, like a lovesick kid. He rocked on his own bare feet, feeling wet soil and moss beneath them.

“I’m glad I could talk you into going barefoot.” Kili had giggled and returned his smile beatifically.

The ceremony had gone by in a flash, vows were declared, rings were exchanged, and kisses shared. Everyone was sniffling and clapping as the two newlyweds had raised their clasped hands above their heads, smiling like two idiots. As they walked hand in hand back down the aisle to the reception area, guests had opened small boxes containing fireflies creating a glittering light show. Kili and Fili had both laughed openly and loudly as they chased the fireflies and each other into their future.

~

Fili wrapped a towel about his thinning hips and climbed out of the shower. He didn’t bother toweling the rest of his body off, savoring the chill that set into him, bone deep and consuming, rising from the marble tiles. Droplets dripped down in perfect pearls from his mess of cropped, tousled curls and exploded as the impacted with the floor.

He grabbed the smaller towel resting on the white sink basin and roughly dried his hair. He debated skipping fixing the mop of hair all together, but he couldn’t look like the complete mess he felt like on the inside. Shaky hands ran pomade through the tresses haphazardly; he refused to catch his own reflection in the mirror above the sink, too scared to see what he had become.

The small, grey ottoman sat empty by the luxurious, claw foot tub looming into Fili’s subconscious. He refused to set anything in that spot. That was _his_ spot and setting anything there felt like he was trying to replace the one thing that actually belonged there.

~

“Fili?” Kili’s voice had been soft, and delicate, belying the weight of the words still withheld within the brunet.

“Yes, my sparrow?” By now, Fili knew that tone. Knew that it meant a storm was raging inside his beloved, no matter how calm he seemed on the outside.

“Are you happy?” The slender artist rested his head back onto Fili’s shoulder to gaze up at him with soulful, brown eyes. He slipped his hands under the warm water of the bath, the quiet splashing the only other sound in the room.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” The claw foot tub had been Kili’s idea and thought it was aesthetically pleasing, it didn’t have much room for two to share a bath. But he had let his lover talk him into it this time.

“Because…”The brunet pursed his lips, biting at the lower, mulling over what to say. His eyes flashed with a multitude of emotions before he finished. “…I feel empty. Incomplete.” Kili had winced, obviously worried his phrasing would be misunderstood.

“Why do you feel that way?” Fili had kissed the top of his wet head in understanding. “What can I do? I don’t ever want you to be unhappy.”

“I know...” The younger trailed off.

Fili waited patiently for his husband to reply, applying soft, reassuring kisses to Kili’s forehead.

“Fili—“ The brunet shifted nervously. “I-I want a child.”

The blond’s eyes had popped open. He had expected something big, but not this. A father. Kili wanted to become a father. Of course.

It had been one of Fili’s fears before he had married his other, that some day he would want a child of his own. And that was something Fili could not provide for him. Adoption was a possibility, with Fili’s status and income, it wouldn’t even be a question, but it wouldn’t be his. Not really. The thought of that not being enough for Kili had terrified him.

“Please say something! You’re scaring me.” Kili whined and nudged at him, flushed from nerves and embarrassment.

“Wow, uhm, children. What do you want to do?” If Kili was ready to take this step, then so was he.

“Really? You’re okay with it? I mean, you’re ready too?” The skinny brunet had veritably shook with excitement.

Fili had paused, a breath’s length, “Yes. I’m ready to try anything with you. I love you. And if a child is the next step in our life, then I will be as supportive as I can be.”

Kili had laughed, loud and bright. “You have to be more than supportive. I want you to want it as badly as I do!” He punched Fili in the chest playfully. “Just think, a little us running around here, raising hell, making messes. I’m sure they’ll be utterly rambunctious.”

“Or they could actually act like a normal human child. Not all of us were howler monkeys as children.” The blond chuckled when his lover had frowned at him.

“I was just energetic. And high spirited.” The younger turned his nose up, feigning annoyance.

“So, have you thought of names yet?”

“Actually, I have…”

“And?”

“I think, if it’s a boy, Frerin would be nice.” Kili glanced shyly up through his damp bangs at the older. “ I know he was your favorite uncle and he sounds like he was a great man, Fili. I think it would be the perfect way to honor his memory, don’t you?” He tried a trepid smile as he cupped Fili’s cheek.

“Yeah,” Fili blinked, feeling an unnoticed tear track down his face as memories of his uncle Frerin flashed in the deepest parts of his mind in whirling color and cacophonous sound. “I think that’s a good name.” He returned Kili’s smile with watery eyes.

“And for a girl, I think Gyda. It doesn’t hold any significance like Frerin, but I guess I’ve always just liked that name.” Kili smirked again.

“Well, then I guess its decided then,” Fili wrapped his arms around Kili and hugged him close. “we just have a lot of planning ahead of us. I have a few friends who adopted recently I could ask—“

“I don’t want to adopt.” The words were blurted out, hard and heavy, lingering in the air between them.

“…then what do you propose we do?” To say Fili had been taken aback would be an understatement.

“A surrogate.” The brunet’s eyebrows had scrunched together, his whole demeanor was tense, eyes flashing with determination.

“I don’t—“

“But listen! I’ve got it all figured out! I called a few companies that work with surrogate mothers and got some profiles and picture of some of them and they are all nice women. Very beautiful and talented.” Kili turned further to face Fili. “And, I made sure to only pick the ones that look like me.”

Fili had just sat there a moment, too dumbstruck to respond. He cleared his throat. “You really have been thinking about this haven’t you?” Fili scratched at his overgrown curls. Things were falling into place. They were really going to have a child. But, he wasn’t sure how he felt about another woman, some stranger, carrying his infant inside of her.

“Please don’t be mad.” Kili spoke soft and soothing again, trying to soften the blow of wanting a child and a surrogate mother as well.

“I need time.” Fili had looked back into his beloved’s eyes, they were both scared, but for different reasons. “I’m not saying no, its just a lot to process. And I want to be a part of all of it. I want to look at the mother’s profiles and go through everything with you. Together.”

Kili had rested his head against the blond’s chest, giving him a squeeze. “Well I do suppose that’s how married couples do things.”

~

Fili’s phone vibrated; a calendar date flashed on the screen with a reminder. “Meeting with Balin.” Balin was an old family friend and well practiced lawyer. He was as good as retired and owned his own firm, but occasionally stepped in at times like this when cases were personal. The young businessman blinked hazily at his phone and set it down on his dresser.

Their walk in closet was vast and full, well, had once been full, of high end designer clothing. Silks and Egyptian cottons hung on an endless number of hangers; even the thinnest of fabrics appeared suffocating. Leather shoes were all neatly lined up along the floor beneath his suits. Giorgio Armani, Dior, Prada. You name it, it could be found in his closet.

A lone charcoal suit lay untouched at the very back of the closet. Fili hated that suit. He had worn it once, brand new, freshly tailored. It had rained that day.

~

Fili turned the key in the lock finding no resistance and no click of the tumblers. Odd. He pushed through the door laying briefcase and rain soaked umbrella beside the small table the foyer, then set to work removing dampened overcoat and shoes.

Rain pitter-pat on the windowpane in small, but bountiful droplets, rolling in small streams to the seal. It was an unusually heavy rain this time of year for the Seattle area. By now, the spring showers had dwindled down to warm mists drifting on and off the straight covering the urban hub in its signature fog.

He had hoped to surprise his beautiful husband by coming home early today, champagne and strawberries in hand. He had also taken the next day off so they could maybe take Frerin, who was staying at uncle Thorin's tonight, to one of the zoos or hiking in one of the national parks. He had had to pull some long hours the past few months to get these days off.

As the ice rattled into the brass wine bucket, the blonde heard a soft sound coming from down the hall. He paused and closed the freezer door, stilling himself and straining his ears. He heard it again.

Fili stiffened. He turned his back to the kitchen and slowly padded down the hallway. A loud thump made him jump. An intruder. He could swear he could hear the silky fabric of his socks catching on the individual fibers of the Persian rug.

Another thud. And a moan? Kili.

The young businessman grabbed a sculpture, undoubtedly for fertility or bounty or some shit, from some African tribe he'd never heard of. He held it above him poised to attack whoever was hurting his family. The sounds were emanating from the master bedroom and reverberating off the high ceilinged hall.

Fili paused outside the door and took a deep breath. In. Out. He silently pushed the door open with shaky hands, body thrumming with rage. He stopped in his tracks.

His beloved brunet lay spread on their marriage bed, long and lean body entangled in their designer sheets and in the arms of another man. Rather, beneath another man. Fili's business associate no less, Dwalin. A tall, muscular man with a shaved head and a deep voice with a thick Scottish accent, all things that turned Kili's head on the average day.

Kili was moaning wantonly, pushing himself back into that man's thrusting hips, riding that man's cock like he had done it all his life. The brunet ran fingers through his hair, pushing it from his dampened face and to look back over his shoulder at his new lover. That's when he finally noticed Fili standing in the doorway.

"Shit! Fili!" The young artist jumped and pushed at his lover to dismount him.

"Fuck!" Dwalin's eyes were wide as he hurriedly pulled out of Kili and yanked at a sheet to cover his lube slicked arousal.

Everything went silent, all eyes on Fili. The sculpture he had been wielding in defense of his home and family slipped through his fingers and crashed onto the rosewood floor, shattering into a million pieces.

"Get out..." It was said so softly, so deep in the back of the blond's throat, no one was sure he had even spoken.

"GET OUT!" He bellowed when nobody moved.

The Scotsman hurriedly pulled his shirt and pants on, his offensive prick still half hard from ravaging his lover, and made a beeline for the door. When he tried to mumble an apology as he slipped out the door, the young blond grabbed him by the shirt collar and shoved him into the wall. Pictures fell and shattered glass covered the family portraits.

"If you have something to say, at least say it to me like a fucking man." Fili's knuckles were white. "But how much of a man can you be when you're fucking my husband behind my back? Get out of my house."

Fili released his associate and glared ice into the other man's soul. He watched as the coward regathered himself and shakily made his way down the hall and out the front door. He lost track of time standing there in the place where his world had suddenly and cruelly fell apart.  
"Fili...Fili, please," Kili sniffled, actually sniffled, from the bed. He had wrapped a sheet about him feigning some sort of modesty.

Fili held up a hand. "Don't speak...don't say a word."

"B-but Fili, please--!"

"DO NOT SPEAK TO ME!" Fili rounded on his husband, looming over him. He paused, eyes flicking up and down his heart's body.

The businessman pushed his beloved onto his back and began fumbling with the buttons of his Ralph Lauren dress shirt and slacks. He finally tore the shirt from his body, buttons scattering across the bed and floor. Fili climbed atop his lover, pushing Kili's legs apart as he pressed him down into the feather mattress.

Kili's eyes widened with realization. "Fili?! Stop!" He tried pushing at the blond's chest, only to have his hand pinned above his head in a brutal grip.

"Shut up," Fili growled. He pushed himself half hard and dry into the brunet beneath him. He ignored the yelp of pain, the pleading, the tears, and kept rutting into his Kili. His heart.

Kili's body shook with sobs, his beautiful face marred with tears and twisted in pain. He had given up on speaking long ago. His big, sable eyes pleaded for absolution as he quieted his sobs and stilled his body. The brunet lay motionless and silent beneath his enraged lover, eyes gazing off in the distance unseeing.

The elder's movements faltered and stuttered to a halt as he looked upon his absent other half. His own agony found its way to the surface and frothed over in tears and heartbreaking, shuddering cries. Fili buried his face into chestnut locks.

They had stayed that way for the rest of the evening and into the night until both, somehow, had found sleep. When Fili awoke in the middle of the night, he pulled himself from his lover to sit on the edge of the bed. Everything that had occurred that evening seemed like a terrible nightmare he wished he could just forget.

He glanced over his shoulder at his husband, pale skin glowing in the moonlight shining through the curtains. Big, round eyes met his dead gaze, shining like two copper coins in the thin light. The luminous orbs had blinked slowly at him, their owner not bothering to try and touch him.

Fili rose from the bed and walked around the foot to leave the room. Something sharp pierced his sole as he neared the door and he recoiled, pulling the ceramic shard of the damned statuette from his foot. He trailed blood down the hallway to the melted ice in the champagne bucket, the room temperature strawberries and popped the cork.

~

Fili stopped at the door, hand frozen on the knob, and looked about his home once more. He wasn’t really sure why. There was nothing he was forgetting, no last minute hugs to be taken from him, no lingering kisses to be shared. This was his home now. Home. That word didn’t sit right with him anymore.

The time on the blond’s gold Rolex read 9:57 as he gathered his briefcase and overcoat. It looked like rain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
